Timmy is an Incredibly Sexy Orphan
by Penutsonfire
Summary: Find out why!
1. Timmy is a Failure of a Human Being

Timmy was in his room, as any kid was. but he was not a kid, who no one understand. he was 35 and living in his parents house, but he was a manchild and never truly grew up so he still had fairies for some reason.

being the lazy dreg on society that he was, he was just playing video games until Wanda came out (of the closet) to reproach his lazy behavior.

"Timmy, you're 35 and no one likes you. If you are just going to sit around and do nothing productive you might as well end it all so you don't waste everyone else's time with your presence." said Wanda, in her typical nagging tone.

"you should watch your mouth before you say something you might regret." said Timmy, as he lifted his 350 pound body from the ground and approached Wanda's stupid face.

"she's right you know... you will never get the girl you truly desire with a totally ugly bod like the one you got right now." said a mysterious voice from the existential void of nothingness.

"hey, some people have a obesity fetish, I know I do." said Timmy like a true degenerate.

"yes, but I doubt that... _**TRIXIE**_ ...would find such qualities in you" said the voice of the one who shall not be named

and then, upon just hearing the name of his crush, Timmy was overflowing with lustful emotions. He desperately tried to take off his clothing, but he was to fat to reach his pants. he had been wearing the same clothes for 15 years. he instead caught himself rolling around on the floor in a desperate fit.

As Timmy was making a fool of himself (as usual), _**HE**_ just couldn't take it anymore. seeing his one true love in a state like this. he burst the 5th dimension of reality in a fashion that took the breath out of everyone in the room.

Timmy then stopped what he was doing and bowed himself down to the Green God, asking for mercy.

"Please, my love for you knows no boundaries. Can you forgive me for my misgivings, it is just that I am lonely and worthless. Do what you can to help me... Cosmo" Timmy felt a shudder just uttering his name, he looked patiently to Cosmo for a response.

"You need to clean yourself up, your gross as hell." said Cosmo

"Cosmo please, I have taken an oath to do nothing with my life after you left so long ago. Now that you have returned, you will bless me with being someone who is not complete human waste" said Timmy

"Fine, I will refuse to speak to you until you are in a presentable state." said Cosmo.

This will be hard for Timmy due to his crippling obesity and lack of motivation. But he knew he must do this, for his devotion to Cosmo eclipses all earthly pains.

Before Timmy could begin his journey to redemption. His parents barged into the room. They had something to say.

"Timmy, we have something to say." said Timmy's parents, having something to say.

"my dear and beloved parents. What ever is the matter?" said Timmy

"Timmy, you are an orphan and we never loved you." said Timmy's parents as a combined group before leaving together.

Cosmo was distraught with the disrespect that Timmy's parents gave their perfect little child. Even though he wasn't perfect, he was the best son they could have asked for, thought Cosmo.

So he went downstairs to show them who was boss.

"you want to speak to Timmy like that, huh? well I'll show you a thing or two about parental respect." said Cosmo right to their big, dumb face.

"oh yeah, mister Timmy's fairy? well we don't care because he is not our son." said Timmy's parents with sass

Cosmo, so engulfed in rage, wished himself a chainsaw and began brutally killing both of Timmy's parents.

"Don't you ever talk to my son like that ever!" screamed Cosmo

After the rubble cleared, Timmy was standing there behind him

"...Dad?" said Timmy, confused

"yes, I am your father, Timmy Turner. I shall now tell you the story of how we got to this place." said Cosmo, ready to give a heart wrenching back story

"It was 36 years ago when I fell in love with the one who helped make you. It was the shiniest Nickel I had ever seen. I knew then that I must have it... and have it I did ;). But after that night, I had come to a terrible conclusion, I was pregnant with a child. I thought it wouldn't be too bad, but the child I gave birth to, I so overcome with this strange feeling... of attraction. To fight this monstrous feelings of romance to my own baby son, I abandoned him and left him to die. It was that unlucky day that your 'parents' found you and raised you. Years went by, I had graduated fairy school by then and was ready to help my very own child. I was paired with Wanda, and the child they picked... was you. It was both a blessing and a curse, for I had found you had grown even more attractive with the passage of time. I kept the truth from you, because I feared for the worst. But I found I couldn't hide myself any longer, so I ran into another dimension to contemplate. Not until now have I found the strength to tell you what really happened, I am sorry that I have hid this horrible truth for so long. Please find it in your heart to forgive me." said Cosmo

Timmy sat down to think about what he had just heard. The earth shook beneath him. Had Cosmo really been his father his whole time? Did he... love him? What did Timmy think.

Timmy's dumb inferior caveman brain took longer than usual to process this information. But after 10 tense minutes of think, Timmy stood up and spoke.

"If I'm your son, does that mean I am part fairy?" said Timmy

"I... I guess that's true" said Cosmo

"awesome!" said Timmy

He then transformed himself into a magical sparkle fairy and everyone loved him.

 **THE END.**


	2. Timmy Turner Goes to school

Timmy was now a fairly odd parents of his own. now he was no longer an average kid that no one understood, now he was an unaverage kid who no one understood, because nobody cared to understand him, emotionally. Timmy was ready to be understood by mom, dad, and vicky who were always giving him demands.

he marched downstairs, only to find that his parents were mauled by cosmo in his loving fit of rage. timmy was ok with this because cosmo loved him a lot romantically. Timmy had to fight with his emotions, not of the fact that the people who had raised him had been murdered, but that he was beginning to have feelings for cosmo too. In order to mask his emotions, he ran off to school in a panic, unknowing that his two fairies were following him.

Timmy was still going to school because he was too stupid to graduate grade 5 and had been going for over 2 decades by now. He sat down in a woefully undersized chair, which broke immediately since timmy didn't bother wishing himself to be any less obese or hideously unattractive. the old and decrepit teacher, who had been rivals with Timmy for a long time, walked in. His name was Mr. Speezles, and was very mean to Timmy. Timmy wished that Mr. Crocker hadn't died all those years ago, he was a much better lover, and teacher.

"Timmy turner, you fat and lazy slob, this is the first time you've showed up to school in three weeks. Have you completed the homework I assigned to you?" said Mr. Speezles

Timmy pulled out a soggy piece of paper from the folds of his fat, it had only one question on it with many correctional pencil scratches on it, the answer read "2+2=8"

"I tried sir, but the question you gave me was too hard. Could you give me an easier one next time?" said Timmy

Mr. Speezles rolled his eyes before moving back to the front of the classroom. He began to teach his lesson when Timmy interrupted. He violently jumped up and down, shaking the class as he attempted to jump.

"yes, Timmy?" asked Mr. Speezles

"Can I go to the bathroom?" asked Timmy

"You just came in here 3 minutes ago." said the annoyed teacher

"I have a weak bladder" responded Timmy sheepishly

Mr. Speezles had enough. He was sick and tired of Timmy's incompetence. After 15 years of attempting to teach this un-teachable waste on society, he had reached his end.

"Timmy, I have had enough of you! You have been going to this school for over 20 years, and you are still unable answer the most simple question I can possibly give you! How are you even able to breath, let alone comprehend that you live the most pathetic, incompetent, and meaningless life of any human who has, and ever will live!" yelled Mr. Speezles

Timmy got nervous from the outburst of his teacher. His bladder let loose and Timmy wetted himself in front of all the other kids who laughed at him. He was embarrassed.

"I...I just can't believe I've wasted the past 15 years of my life attempting to teach you something, anything. My life is worthless, I can't take it anymore!" said Mr. Speezles before taking out a gun and shooting himself, ending his miserable life.

"Gee, what got under his skin. Oh well, I guess that means school's out for the day!" said Timmy as he skipped out the door and back home. The thunderous shaking from each skip was like an earthquake, and leveled the school to the ground.

As Timmy was returning home from school when he encountered and old friend, but was he really a friend?

The old, battle hardened dog turned around to confront his neglectful owner. he scowled.

"So, you thought you could get rid of me like that, like trash, huh punk? Were the ratings that bad, did the money mean more to you than your own loving dog?" said Sparky, bitter about what had happened all those years ago.

"Sparky, it wasn't like that, it was-" Timmy said before he was interrupted

"Don't give me any excuses, I only thirst for revenge now. Plus, your fatty thighs would make a fine meal for me. Just try and combat me!" said Sparky as he lunged towards Timmy.

Timmy then pulled out his own wand, and wished that Sparky never existed. Sparky poofed away.

"I'm not sure that's how wishing works, Timmy." asked Wanda, who was there for some reason.

"Who cares" said Timmy, as he walked into the sunset

 **THE END**


	3. The end of Timmy Turner

Timmy had done all he needed to do. He eradicated the school he had once knew, and defeated his useless dog Sparky. he was truly free, or was he? He was too stupid to remember the loose ends he forgot to tie up, it was only wanda who reminded him his unfinished business, and also the fact that he needed to breath, a very hard thing to remember if i do say so myself.

"Timmy Turner, what about Vicky and Tutty, you need to enact your revenge on both of them." said wanda

"oh yes, I almost forgot. Thank you for being useful for once in your life." said timmy as he went to their house.

He berged through the front door, burning it down to the ground with magic fire. then he realized something. Vicky and Tutty moved out a while ago, because they were functioning members of society unlike Timmy, who was going on a killer rampage to enact revenge on people he hadn't seen in 5 years.

"darn, I must track them down and find out where they really live." said Timmy, leaving the burning house behind him, with 2 elderly people inside of it.

Timmy soared into the air with his fairy wings, unable to lift himself that high due to his obese body. nevertheless he continued on in his quest , killing innocent people on his quest for vengance.

He pursued Vicky first to kill her due to her child abusive nature that was very mean-spirited and gay :(. Timmy had his feeling hurt and was now an unhinged serial killer, determined to kill any one with reckless abandon.

He made it to Vicky's house and went into the front door.

"Vicky! you're dead!" said Timmy as he unsheathed his samurai sword like a true weeaboo.

"You look even worse than when I last saw you, Twerp. Have you been sitting in your room for the past 25 years?!" said Vicky who was very confused.

"Yes, but now it is time for vengence." said Timmy as he hacked her head off. However it was no use, as Vicky turned into a spooky ghost

"What the?! how come you turned into a ghost unlike all the rest." said Timmy, prepared to kill the ghost.

"I need to haunt your dumbbutt, because jesus said you need to cut this stuff out." said Vicky's ghost

"ok fine, I'll stop. but only after I kill Tutty." said Timmy, leaving with Vicky's ghost behind him.

Timmy needed revenge on Tutty, who was obsessed with Timmy and sexually molested Timmy in the past. Or was it the other way around due to Timmy being a desperate loser and virgin? oh well, someone got molested and Timmy felt like killing someone.

"I know where Tutty lives, but you need a way in." said Vicky's ghost, leading Timmy to a cave in the middle of the Dimmsdale national jungle

They made it to a rock wall with a giant locked door. Timmy was emotionally confused due to his inability to think with any sort of cognition.

"Ok, to get in, you need to hit the sickest dab known to man-kind." said Vicky's ghost, Timmy stepped forward to fulfill his destiny.

Timmy hit a dab so sick, reality warped and he was sent to an alternate dimension, where everything was the same besides the fact that the door was open. Timmy walked inside.

There he saw Tutty sitting on the only couch in the entire cave/house. Timmy pulled a magical spear, capable of killing any creature in the universe. He sharpened the spear and tossed it at Tutty, ripping straight through her chest and coming out the other side. The spear laid bloody through her small chest. Her wig fell off of her head, revealing that she was not Tutty, but cosmo instead!

"Cosmo, no! why did you pull such a cruel prank, did you not know the danger?" said timmy with regret

"I was expecting you to come up to me first, not throw a spear at me. I already took a care of Tutty, but wanted to surprise you with this confession. I love you. All I wanted is for us to live together, who cares what the others say, I just care about you. Lay down your weapons, stop this senseless murder. Rest now, your work is done..." said cosmo in a heartfelt manner

"Cosmo..." said Timmy as he leaned in for a kiss. their lips touched as cosmo drifted towards death's door, Timmy was sad, but felt that his work had been done. He got up to leave the cave.

"Now Timmy, you must kill yourself to free me and the rest of this world from your tyranny." said Vicky's ghost, feeling that her work had yet to be completed.

"oh yeah? well try saying that against the freakin' GHOSTBUSTERS!" said Timmy

suddenly the ghostbusters crashed through the door, but it wasn't really the ghostbusters. it was just Bill Murray in a cheap halloween costume. However that didn't stop him from punching Vicky's ghost in the face and getting into a big brawl.

As Timmy witnessed this brawl, he began to think about his life.

"wow, I really am pathetic and useless. My life is completely worthless." though Timmy. Upon coming to this conclusion he wished himself a rope and hung himself from the ceiling, killing him instantly.

 **THE END.**


End file.
